By Kelly [Redacted]
So my friend from high school puts this post on his facebook one afternoon and I simply replied to it. My friend is a libertarian, whatever the hell that means, but to me it means it's a party of people that are never going to get elected so therefore they are irrelevant. But anyway, it started off like this. (since my friend deleted this from his wall because it pretty fucking ugly, I had to transcribe this from my phone, luckily I type 80 words a minute.)
Freddie McDonald: Ny Times says today that everything part of this new health care bill is nothing more than a redistribution of wealth! ATT just announced it will lose 1 billion dollars due to health care after it was able to read all of the fine points of the bill. CBO just announced the health care bill will add an extra 9.8 trillion to our defecit over the next 10 years. Don't expect unemployment to go down unless you work for the IRS!
Kelly [Redacted]: Don't you think that that article is a bit inflammatory? I mean we don't have a clue as to how this whole health care thing is going to turn out. I can think of all kinds of bills that either passed or didn't pass or legislation that was passed or repealed that didn't turn out to hurt or help as much as anybody thought it could or would. Who wrote that article by the way, Glen Beck? LOL
Freddie McDonald: LOL, now that would be news, Glenn Beck writing an article for the New York Times!
(at this point his staunch libertarian friend joins the conversation)
Garry Shitstain Leavy: That would never happen, Glenn back isn't a liberal scumbag! BTW are you the one that fired a shot at Rep. Eric Cantor's (R) office Kelly? LOL
Kelly [Redacted]: Well, I've only read a few things on the health care bill and the health care debate but what I do know doesn't seem nearly as horrible as everybody is saying. I mean the way things seem to go today is like this. A guy with no insurance gets the sniffles, doesn't go to the Dr. Then the sniffles turn into a cold which turns into pneumonia and the next thing you know is guy with no insurance ends up in the emergency room, where I'm pretty sure he cannot be turned away, he is treated and his bill is now $2,000 which he also will never pay, the hospital writes it off as a loss and therefore reduces their tax liability by $700. Doesn't it make more sense to cure the sniffles for $50 then to cure them for $700? Either way it eats into our tax base. And didn't they have the same fears in Great Britian and Canada when they "socialized" their medical system? That seems to be working out OK and seems to be the model of what we are shooting for? But what do I know I'm just a tree hugging Left Coast liberal.
Garry Shitstain Leavy: Did you really say Britain and Canada are doing just fine? LMFAO! Let's educate Kelly! 1. They're both BROKE! 2. This bill doesn't even HAVE a public option like the countries you mentioned! 3. It is UNCONSTITUTIONAL to force Americans to buy something from a private company which is exactly what this bill does! Read something other than whatever liberal rag you get every morning and expand your universe. Jesus!"
Freddie McDonald: I hope ur right kk but don't think so! Also, I seen some of those trees u hug! They got some nice tits! Lmao! I grew up with KK in high school n college Boo! You peel off that liberal layer and he's not bad! Lol But also, I just like to know if this healthcare bill is so good, why did congress and all the administration opt out of it? Shouldn't they lead by example?
Kelly [Redacted]: Hey, no I agree. The guys who create the laws and pass the bills and therefore make the rules, they seem to always get whatever they want and you are right, that isn't good. There is a double standard and that does need to stop, if you are in Congress you are still an American citizen and you should abide by the same rules that everybody else does. And just so you know Gary, I was a republican when I was in the Army and when I got out and was living in Chicago. I voted for Bush in '88. But once I moved out West I slowly turned into a Democrat. I voted for Clinton twice, Bush Jr. once, and then Democrat ever since and probably for life. Living on the West Coast surrounded by forests that you want to see kept around and an Ocean that you want to see kept swimmable can do that to you. But hey I gotta run, there is a pinetree waiting for me in the lobby with some beautiful limbs and a nice set of pinecones waiting to take me to lunch!
Freddie McDonald: I guess I would turn liberal too if I had all those pinecones and pussywillows around me constantly! Lmao!"
Garry Shitstain Leavy: Me too! If I lived in "Everyone should love everyone and be happy" land! LMFAO
(At this point I go back to work thinking this conversation is done, I go and run some errands and while out I get this from Gary who apparently has started drinking)
Garry Shitstain Leavy: Where'd ya go Kelly? BTW. Sorry I assumed you had a vagina because of your name. But obviously you would still suck dick. Obama's at least! LMFAO! Douche bag!"
Kelly [Redacted]: Gary, is that were you are taking this, really? Is this the road that we are going down? Look, I'm sorry I ever joined in the debate. Were all friends here. I'm pretty sure there is no need to start attacking each other personally. Have a good night buddy.
Garry Shitstain Leavy: Friends? Not you and I at least! Take your tree hugging liberal bullshit some where else away from me "Kelly"! You are part of the death of this nation for my kids and my grand children! So... Thanks for that!
(OK, so now I'm getting fucking pissed, I debate all day every day for a living. 90% of my clients don't want to invest right now because they think Obama is going to turn our nation into a communist Russia or worse, while having some tree hugging liberal clients at one branch my other branch consists of military and ex-military, America loving, God fearing, Fox watching, 100% white as the driven snow, clients who may or may not be racist although I'm often shocked at how freely the "N" word is used at my desk. So if this guy wants to debate I'll debate and if he wants to get ugly then fuck it, let's get ugly)
Kelly [Redacted]: Typical republican, when you clearly aren't intelligent or informed enough to have a debate like a real man you start to either attack people personally or turn violent. Who is the douche now?
Garry Shitstain Leavy: You're the douche that thinks your savior passed some sort of socialized healthcare! LOL Read the bill ya retard! And by the way, I'm a Libertarian! Not Republican! So suck my dick you "Give all the freeloaders shit for free" public entitlement fuck! You're kind disgusts me! You are the cancer of this nation!"
(At this point my buddy jumps back into the fray to try to create some levity.)
Freddie McDonald: Can't we all just get along? Lmao! You two love birds have fun! I have a hottie coming over and were going to create our own healthcare bill! ;) LOL
(and then later adds)
Freddie McDonald: In this corner we have Gary "strap a panda on my Suv and drive thru a gay pride parade" LeVault vs Kelly "flying in his learjet across country to give a speech on energy conservation" [Redacted]! LMAO! Now that's some funny shit no matter who you are! Lol"
(I'm driving home at this point and can't really type anything)
Garry Shitstain Leavy: LMFAO
(Now I'm home and I click on his photo to see who I'm dealing with. He's my age, 70 pounds overweight, bald, incredibly unappealing double chin, I flip through his pictures, lots of cartoons of Obama with a hitler moustache, etc., this guy is a teabagger in more ways than one)
Kelly [Redacted]: Gary, you crack me up man. You are so lost it's not even funny. You really don't have a clue. You probably have no problem that half of our tax dollars are going to fight a war that is most likely as unwinnable as Vietnam. Under Clinton we were running massive budget surpluses and now we are running massive defecits, mostly thanks to George Bush. And now as a result about 25% of our tax dollars just go to service the debt. And BTW I've probalby paid more taxes this year than you've paid in the last 10. If anybody should be a Republican it should be me. But I'm not, and I'm not because altough Republicans preach small government it never happens under their watch, they expand the government everytime with corporate welfare, tax breaks for the rich, cold wars, nuclear missle programs, etc. So again, if you want to debate we can debate but if you want to get personal we can go that route too, I just checked out your pictures and you are a pretty easy target my friend. But I'm giving you one final chance to be a human being and then, ya know, I can get pretty fucking vindictive myself.
Kelly [Redacted]: And by the way it was Bush who approved and began TARP and other economic recovery programs (more free dollars for corporate America) which is now in the 10's of trillions probably more than this health bill will ever cost, so what do you have to say about that? Somehow I'm sure you are going to blame the current regime right?
Garry Shitstain Leavy:You saw shit ya hippie! Whatever you have, bring it! Fact is, when tax breaks happen, business grows, hence they hire more people! Isn't that what America is calling for right now?! Not healthcare! Not cap and tax?! Jobs! How dare you bring up Reagan! You should be convicted for treason! You're what I spend a good part of my time protecting my daughters from! By the way? How many kids you got?
Kelly [Redacted]: Hippie? Sheesh, that's a good one. Trickle down economics, so that's your plan? We'll we've had that now for about 30 years, if you had a lick of knowledge you would probably know that Obama hasn't raised any taxes on anybody yet but probably should, and if you ever took an econ course you would know that there is a natural 35 year business cycle at play here and that we are in the midst of a recovery, and if you ever did some reading you would know that the stock market recovers first then the economy and then lastly the unemployment rate as the stock market is a LEADING indicator and the jobless rate is a LAGGING indicator. And so since corporate tax rates are already historically low and they are still not hiring then what is your solution then for that, there, Warren Buffet of Schiller Park? And as far as kids go, because I'm still trying to be diplomatic with your retarded ass to see if you actually know anything, instad of saying the only kids that I know that I have for sure are the two that live in your home, instead I'm going to say, nunya. And lastly, trust me, if you ever find yourself unemployed it won't be because the economy is bad but because you sir are an asshole.
Garry Shitstain Leavy: Do you have a life? And the best part is no matter how you wake up tomorrow your name will still be "Kelly". LMFAO! Follow me on Twitter too ya faggot! @reverendsoupcan LOL Liberals! LOL
Kelly [Redacted]: Dude, I could bust your balls for being overweight, for being bald, for having a double chin, but still I'm not going to sink to your level, I'm just going to feel sorry for you, you will probably wake up someday lonely and miserable because nobody who doesn't agree with all of your inane positions in life will want to have anything to do with you, I have plenty of Republican friends and we can have normal debates but you have to take it to a shitty place because let's face it, you aren't smart enough or educated enough to debate me like a man, because inside you are a very scared, little child who's mamma didn't hug him enough or something when he was a little boy, and ya know it's scumbags like you that use the world faggot that are 150% morely likely to go online and check out gay porn, that's a scientific fact, look into it, so before you hop onto youporn tonight just try to keep it on the "straight" side ok there? And good luck in life with that attitude, there is karma in this world and I don't wish this on anyone but it's likely that you will soon end up unemployed and you will be looking for a handout, some free healthcare for one of your (our) kids, wic, foodstamps, unemployment, all those dirty little socialist programs designed to help those in need but I hope by then that none of those programs exist, or maybe you get seriously hurt on the job or have a heart attack and can't work, I'm telling you man, the Universe doles good and bad out perfectly to those who deserve it, so then maybe at this point you might have some compassion for the guy who fell down on his luck, but whatever dude I'm done with you , you've got nothing
(turns out this dude has been unemployed for about 6 months now and he does something in the healthcare field, not sure what but from the conversation we're having I'm guessing hospital janitor)
Garry Shitstain Leavy: If I ever see you, friend Freds from high school or not, I will knock your fuckin' teeth down you're throat you fuckin' shit talkin' asshole! Wait for it bitch! You fuck! Oh! And was that what you were waiting for nigger lover? Me to lose it? You're a fuckin' Nazi and you can live with that! But I promise you ass licker! If I ever fuckin' meet you face to face I will shove my cock down your throat.
Kelly [Redacted]: Dude, bring it on anytime. I will get in a ring with you anytime, I will take the gloves off anytime. But a douchebag like you I'm sure will come packing heat (cause I know you Libertarians loves your guns) or bring a shiv or a bunch of your Libertarian buddies. I have no doubt I could kick your ass, you'd be winded after 30 seconds are you kidding me? I'll call you before I come to town, Fred you can referee. LOL, douchebag, like I said, peace out, ya got nothing.
Freddie McDonald: While you two keep arguing over something neither one of you can control, I am with a sexy woman! Whose the smartest of them all? LOL I win.. You both would actually like each other if you met. Well maybe before you two starting getting personal? who knows but its time for me to end this crap.. I am removing this post.. Later.
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Editors Note
The scariest thing about this dialogue is the realization that there's only 3 degrees of separation between me and this mouth breather.
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