Why I Travel

I'm getting excited about Brazil. I read this quote from Eric Shaeffer today.

I like when things don't work perfectly. It reminds me of a time when you couldn't just get everything you want all the time so easily. It's why I like traveling to third world countries. I'm so fast all the time I appreciate anything that slows me down or takes me out of my routine and forces me to be more present because it's an unusual situation that requires me to pay attention or problem solve in a new way.

The Illegal Green Tree

Things you only need one of

They say you can never have enough friends. There are probably other things in life where the "more is better" philosophy applies. Money, Music, Movies. You can never really have or experience enough.

With the recent snow storm pounding we've been getting this winter I've come to appreciate the good things in life that you need just one of. One good one is all you need.

- A versatile car (i.e Nissan Xterra)
- A good pair of boots (My Montrail Hiking boots)
- A comfortable home
- A good wife

I have to clear tons of snow from our yard tomorrow. If it all melts at the same time our house will probably flood again. Matt's in town. I'm hoping he can help me. It's a tall order to ask anyone to help you shovel snow all day on Christmas day but I'm glad I also got one good friend who I know will do it if he can.

I've got an old blue shirt and it suits me just fine
I like the way it feels so I wear it all the time
I've got an old guitar that won't ever stay in tune
But I like the way it sounds in a dark and empty room
I've got an old pair of boots that fit my feet just right
I can work all day and go out and dance all night
I've got a new used car that runs just like a top
Yeah I get the feeling it ain't ever gonna stop

Stuff that works
stuff that holds up
Is the kind of stuff you don't hang on the wall
Stuff that's real
that stuff you feel
Is the stuff you always reach for when you fall

I've got a pretty good friend who's seen me at my worst
He don't know if I'm a blessing or a curse
But he always shows up when the chips are down
That's the kind of friend I like to be around
There's a woman I love she's crazy and she paints like God
She's got a playground sense of justice she don't give odds
I've got a tattoo with her name right through my soul
And I think everything she touches turns to gold

Stuff that works
stuff that holds up
Is the kind of stuff you don't hang on the wall
Stuff that's real
that stuff you feel
Is the stuff you always reach for when you fall

- Rodney Crowell

Dubyah Gets Down

Dybyah's Version of White Lines:


The Original:

How Men Think

"Somehow the impulsivity of going away for a weekend with a girl you just met three hours ago makes it all seem fun and light and romantic but in three weeks, you've had 5 dates, slept together and know the person enough that feelings are starting to grow. It would be way too intimate to go away together then, especially on a holiday. A month maybe, but not three weeks.

The window is now, or in a month."


- Eric Schaeffer
I can't believe I'm single

Dear Greedy Shitheads ...

... I told you so.

Literal Song Videos

A while ago I did a few blogs on on non-hip-hop musicians covering rap songs. I think I've found a new humor genre. Literal Song videos. Here's my favorite one so far. It's probably not as funny if you don't know the song so here's a link to the original.

Gears 2 Trailer

Would I be a dork if I found this moving? Can't wait.

Dance Off !!!

The most important, disturbing, and educational movie I've ever watched

I hope this can open your eyes. I know it opened mine.

Halloween will suck this year

Fiscal My Ass

Pigskin Diaries

Stream of conciousness and trivia about my football season so far.

My Saturday Team (Arsenal) and Sunday Team (Deep Speed) are both 3-0. We've already beat the OTHER best team in each league but there's still a lot of games and good teams left to be played.

Every Saturday I take a sip of Joes redbull for good luck. He was supposed to also keep his foomanchu but his wife made him shave it off ... even AFTER I told him to tell her that I said it was OK. Can you believe that?

The field we play at on Saturdays does not have a shitter so guys have to dump in the bushes. I've had to adjust my pre-game poo routine accordingly.

The fact that our other corner, Kainoa, and I wear board shorts has been a running joke on the team. It has led to the idea that each position will wear different leg wear. So far we have the following list:

DBs: Board Shorts

D-Line: Figure Skating Tights

LBs: Daisy Dukes

O-Line: Mini Skirts

QB: Tu Tu

RBs: Kilts

WRs: Spandex

Colin has retired. At least for this season. I really enjoyed my time on the Gridiron with him the past few years. Man, was he a terror rushing the QB. There were so many practices where we couldn't even run our normal offense because every conversation in the offensive huddle revolved around how to deal with Colin. He's too big and strong to stop even with a double team. He's too fast to roll away from. I liked playing corner behind him. Made my life so easy. My fondest memory of playing with Colin is the last championship we won together. We played the semifinal and final game on the same day with only 1 hour between games. Most of our team was missing and everyone played both ways. It was raining and the field was pure mud. We won on a gloomy deserted field with no one but the refs watching. I wouldn't trade it for the superbowl.

With Matty gone to SanDiego my teammates are all more like business partners than friends although I really do enjoy their company and care about them on a personal level ... so ... maybe they are sorta friends. The only active athletes I associate with off the court/field are Adam and Toombstone.

I have a lot of picks in the Saturday league. My goal is to lead the league in interceptions. Also haven't been burned for any TD's so far.

I've been lucky with injuries this season. Except for a mildly strained lower ab, I've had no major complaints and haven't had to miss any games. Knock on wood.

Casey tells the other team to kiss his starfish.

Swat

Little vid of me clownin' fools with Lee & the twins.

When I ruled the world

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sweep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world


It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

- ColdPlay

Maxo Life Project

A few weeks ago while playing "Grand Theft Auto IV" I experienced a very surreal and transcendent moment which triggered a chain of thoughts and a fairly long period of self-analysis. This process eventually led to the experiment which I have labeled the "Maxo Life Project".

It all started one early morning on a beach in West Algonquin. I had just finished doing god knows what and apparently things got pretty heated because I was low on health and armor and had escaped to the beach to pick up some armor stashed under an old dock. The sun was beginning to rise. I was in a red convertible and the beach was deserted. The radio happened to be on the Ambient House station. With the sun creeping above the city skyline and the first rays of light shimmering off the ocean, the moment was epic. I marvelled at how the games creators had put all these elements together to create such an epic moment. What impressed me even more was that this particular moment wasn't scripted or planned. It was just a culmination of a lot of isolated concepts that - while each cool in their own right - had coincided to create something even greater. More astonishing what the fact that, at least to me, they all seemed to go together. Nothing was out of context.

Now the truth of the matter is that all these items were created separately without any specific (but definitely general) plans on how they would interact with each other. Somwhere in Rockstar studios a talented vehicle graphics artist had put the vehicle model for my red convertible together. Somwhere on another floor various artists had developed the water physics engine, the vehicle physics engine, the skyline art and various weather effects (it could have easily been a rainy thunderstorm that morning) and character models. Somwhere in Europe a little known house music producer had cut some ambient beats that were deemed worthy of making it into the game. None of these artists or programmers was specifically thinking about the various components of the game. And yet, somehow, when they all came together ... it just fit.

After experiencing this moment I started paying more attention to how various components of the game came together and how well or poorly things fit the overall context of the moment. Strangely what I realized is that things almost always seemed to fit. Even if in the most ironic of contexts. Here are some of the random scenarios which seem like they shouldn't mesh well, yet, they somehow do.

1) Taking my arms-dealing, pot-smoking Jamaican friend on a rainy midnight assasination attempt on rival gang members on the back of my motorcycle while listening to Jazz.

2) Going on a blind date with a gay criminal to get info / terminate subject. Driving SUV. Listening to punk Rock.

3) Taking my steroid-shooting vain/superficial friend on a helicopter ride with a couple of gals. Sunny day, listening to classic hip-hop from 80's/90's.

4) Illegal street races in Lamborghini while listening to 70 disco. Various weather.

Keep in mind that none of these scenarios were scripted. I chose WHEN to do these missions, WHAT I would drive, and the RADIO station.

No matter where I was, when it was, and what I was doing, it always seemed to fit. I wondered if this was perhaps due to my own relaxed sensibilites in terms of what goes with what. I mean, Riley does a better job of matching her clothes than I do and she's only 4. I also realized that some of this may be due to excessive use of Irony in modern independent movies. I've always like the fact that directors would sometimes choose the most seemingly inappropriate music for a particular scene but still have it make sense. For example, the protagonist just had to make the excruciating choice to shoot his best friend in the head and as he's walking away you hear cheerful Irish jig music with a punk rock beat.

As an experiment, I built a random slideshow with background music. The slidshow basically hits a directory filled with photos (2670 photos as I write this) and randomly displays each photo for 4 seconds and then fades to the next photo. It also hits a music directory and randomly plays one song after the other (the music is not yet random as I write this. Stupid Flash!).

So with each visit you have no idea which photos you're going to see, in what order, and with what background music. I showed the first version to my Friend Chris and he thought that music did go with the slideshow regardless of the photos or the songs (granted I only have slideshow-friendly music in there right now).

I'm also thinking of building an admin tool for a few other friends to add photos and music to the project to see where it goes.

Visit Maxo Life Project.

23 Questions I Ask Everybody I Meet... By Chuck Klosterman

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

2. Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that for some reason every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots. Would you attempt to do this?

3. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which option do you select?

4. Genetic engineers at John Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so called "super gorilla." Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, an IQ of almost 85, and -most notably- a vague sense of self awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be "borderline unblockable" and would average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays.) Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent. You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

5. You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear--for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like the deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you.) Would you swallow the pill?

6. At long last, someone invents 'the dream VCR.' This machine allows you to tape an entire eveningÃ?s worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device if you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you donÃ?t agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR. Would you still do this?

7. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week. You are the front-page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

8. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: They are obsessed with The Dark Crystal. You'd have to watch the DVD with him/her once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's 'deeper philosophy.' Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

9. A novel entitled Interior Mirror is released to mammoth commercial success (despite middling reviews). However, a curios social trend emerges: Though no one can prove a direct scientific link, it appears that almost 30 percent of the people who read this book immediately become homosexual. Many of these newfound homosexuals credit the book for helping them reach this conclusion about their orientation, despite the fact that Interior Mirror is ostensibly a crime novel with no homoerotic content (and was written by a straight man). Would this phenomenon increase (or decrease) the likelihood of you reading this book?

10. This is the opening line of Jay McInerney's Bright Lights, Big City: "You are not the kind of guy who would be in a place like this at this time of morning." Think about that line in the context of the novel (assuming you've read it). Now go to your CD collection and find Heart's Little Queen album (assuming you own it). Listen to the opening riff of Barracuda. Which of these two introductions is a higher art form?

11. You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational, metaphysical sense that somewhere- your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this and your mother has not been ill. Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?

12. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, I will now make them a dollar more attractive. He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But somehow this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front. How much cash do you give the wizard?

13. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet and you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen minute speech to the assembly. What do you talk about?

14. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can't talk and they can't write but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves). This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?

15. You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation, but the incision will leave you significantly less intelligent, less logical, and with a terrible memory. The surgery is in two weeks. How do you spend the next 14 days?

16. Someone builds an optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it's essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like it twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal; you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that for some unknown reason you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed. The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come across a pre-season CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?

17. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you've never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. Be careful of that guy, you are told. He is a man with a past. A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. Be careful of that guy, too, he says. He is a man with no past. Which of these two people do you trust less?

18. You have won a prize. The prize has two options and you can choose either (but not both.) The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon. Which option do you select?

19. Your best friend is taking on a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you donÃ?t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can't tell them why. Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

20. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as 'brutally honest and relentlessly fair.' Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it. Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

21. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything you know now. You will reexperience your entire adolescence with both of the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you've learned from having lived your life previously. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

22. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating in the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don't believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual. Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

23. Consider this possibility: a. Think about deceased TV star John Ritter.b. Now, pretend Ritter had never become famous. Pretend he was never affected by the trappings of fame, and try to imagine what his personality would have been like.c. Now, imagine that this person Ã?the unfamous John Ritter- is a character in a situation comedy.d. Now, you are also a character in this sitcom, and the unfamous John Ritter character is your sitcom father.e. However, this sitcom is actually your real life. In other words, you are living inside a sitcom. Everything about your life is a construction, featuring the unfamous John Ritter playing himself (in the role of your father). But this is not a sitcom. This is your real life. How would you feel about this?

That's My Daughter in the Water

Everything she sees
she says she wants.
Everything she wants
I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.
That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.

Everything I say
she takes to heart.
Everything she takes
she takes apart.

That's my daughter in the water
every time she fell I caught her.
Every time she fell.
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost every time I fought her.
I lost every time.

Every time she blinks
she strikes somebody blind.
Everything she thinks
blows her tiny mind.
That's my daughter in the water,
who'd have ever thought her?
Who'd have ever thought?
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost everytime I fought her
Yea, I lost every time.

- Loudon Wainwright

Summer is Here

I woke up this morning and packed my v-ball gear as I had every day for the last 9 months. The thought of playing with "The Dogan" brought a smile to my face. But then I noticed that there was no Arena Sports reminder in my Inbox. Further investigation revealed the season had uncermoniously ended, unbeknownst to me. Then I recalled that my last play with "The Dogan" was getting aced down the middle by the nerd and the noob ... and a tear fell from my eye.

Bearded Pesh Video Debut

Without informing any of his friends, our pal "B-Sack", aka "Bareq", aka "The Bearded Pesh" has been monlighting as an Indian music video star. He can now add "Benny Lava" to his list of Aliases.

B-Sack during the Bogacheil disaster:


Bearded Pesh Busting Fly Moves as Benny Lava:

Balloon

The first time I heard this song I was driving back from skiing with Riley. (Listen Here)

In my rearview
I watch you
watching the twilight
behind the telephone lines
With nothing to prove
or to assume
just thinking if your thoughts
are different than mine

In my rearview
I watch you
I gave you your life
but you give me mine

I see you slowly swim away
as the light is leaving town
to a place that I can't be
where there's no apologies

So go on
Just go on
There're still so many things
I wanna to say to you
But go on
Just go on
We're bound by blood that's moving
the moment that we started

I see perfect little lives
watch the shadows of the clouds
and the surface of the ocean
out the window of a plane
I get nervous when I fly
I'm used to walking with my feet
but I can't help but over-think
What is the purpose of my life
if it doesn't have to do
with learning to let it go
live vicariously through you
You can do the same
it's the least you can do
cause it's a lonely little chain
if you don't add to it

So go on
Just go on
There's so many things
I wanna say to you
Go on
Just go on
We're bound by blood and love
The moment that we started


- Jack Johnson

Ishkur's Guide to Electronic Music

I've been a fan of Ishkur's site for a while. He's got a new guide coming out soon which should be pretty cool since the last one was insane. He's very articulate and creative cat who luvs da funky beats.

The coolest part about this preview is that it is randomized so everytime you watch it, it's a different show.

Coming soon to www.Ishkur.com:

Grand Theft Auto IV

Halo Killer is due for release in April 2008.

Finished the Fight

MC puts in a long day at the office.

The Most Basic Tenent of Manhood