Once the booze and painkillers kicked in I felt a lot better. I tried to have another conversation with Matt and he seemed to finally be getting over the disaster too. We decide to slip into our alter egos, ArdAtak & MattyCakes. From that point on it was PARTY TIME!
10:55 a.m.
ArdAtak asks the team getting creamed by Clay and Brian what their team name is.
“Keith & Matt” is the reply.
“PizzaBack … got it thanks.”
ArdAtak proceeds to jot “PizzaBack” on the score card.
He later had to clarify that it was a mistake and in no way related to the unfortunate acne problems suffered by the losing team.
11:29 a.m
ArdAtak asks PizzaBack if they would consider it a conflict of interest if he ref’d, kept score, took pictures, AND cheered for his friends (who were absolutely crushing them at the time).
MattyCakes declared this to be unfair so he offered to keep score, leaving ArdAtak to continue refing, cheering, and taking photos.
12:33 p.m.
Khasha and Thoeum decide to play a “Player – Coach” match with a couple of novice players they’d been mentoring over the summer. They choose to play it on the court directly next to the men’s pre-crossover game. Thoeum’s primary goal was to keep the novice players from shanking balls into the high-stakes game next to them.
1:44 p.m.
Khasha declares that he didn’t think it was possible for anyone to play at 12% effort but Thoeum just got done proving that it was possible. Thoeum sited his concerns from 12:33 (above) as the reason.
2:36 p.m.
ArdAtak and MattyCakes watch a good team from San Diego lose in the crossover. They never once stopped smiling and picking each other up. It was embarrassing to watch how they handled losing with such class and high spirits. ArdAtak tells MattyCakes: “We got good at winning together but never learned how to lose together. Maybe it’s time we start taking pointers from these guys.”
3:05 p.m.
Adam Leong, AKA A-Bomb, AKA Dustin is playing in the crossover with Khasha and Thoeums roommate, Kanani, who drove all the way up from Santa Barbara to carry Adam. ArdAtak is snapping mad photos. They’re going against a team from Minnesota featuring a monster blocker similar to the one ArdAtak stuffed and defeated earlier in the day. As such, ArdAtak decides to once again multi-task by acting as both the team photographer and coach. He’s confident that his earlier experience from defeating a monster blocker qualifies him to coach Adam to similar results. He’s bouncing around snapping shots and yelling pointers like a ferret on crack. “Don’t drop your elbow”, “Even if you’re chipping, be sure to max jump and reach high”, or true gems of wisdom like “Don’t be scared”.
Much to everyone’s surprise, ArdAtak fails in his coaching debut. Adam and Kanani have to settle for 3rd place.
4:30 p.m.
The crowd on center court for the men’s final is massive. ArdAtak decides to take a bottle of Mike’s Hard Lemonade from MattyCakes. MattyCakes won’t let go. He declares: “I will die before I let go of this bottle. ArdAtak twists the bottle and the sweet sticky contents pour all over MattyCakes’ freshly shorn scrotum. He lets go of the bottle. Miraculously, he doesn’t die. ArdAtak savors the last few drops of nectar in the bottle while flashing his #5 smile.
5:33 p.m.
Paul and Kelly finally show up to catch the last 10 minutes of the men’s final. They had initially left Seattle on Friday hoping to watch their friends (us) play at Seaside. However, after missing 2 ferries, a midnight pit stop in Olympia, getting lost, and going to the Cannon Beach retirement community by mistake, the don’t show up until Saturday at 5:30. Despite his enhanced condition, ArdAtak does some quick Math to discover they spent more time GETTING to Seaside than they will spend AT Seaside. They are total wrecks and the story on how they got there is a separate tale which I may post at some point if Kelly ever gets around to writing it.
6:13 p.m.
Paul takes off with Adam in order to see if he can get in some trouble.
ArdAtak and MattyCakes grab a bite at the beach and carry their cooler, which is by now mostly filled with sand, back to their room. They slowly come out of their alter ego modes as they limp home as Ardi & Matt.
For dinner, we were invited to the house that Kyle, Harley, and Vu were renting. We show up and Vu has the grill going in full effect. He served up a feast and we all pigged out and laughed about the stupid antics we pulled of in our youth and the stupid antics we’re still trying to pull of in our old has-been state. Afterwards we go to the Shilo Inn where Adam hovers over the dinner table of some chicks we didn’t know while Khasha and I have a very interesting conversation with Rico from Olympia who I had played against a few times in yesteryears and hadn’t spoke to in over a decade due to some old reffing beef from a tourney in the late 90’s. In summary, he tells us that he’s half Jaguar. When pressed for an explanation he tells a story about some aliens who wanted to mine the earth but were too fragile for the harsh environment of the planet so they mixed their DNA with local animals like Jaguars, Apes, Elephants, etc. to create a more robust breed and that is how humans came to be. Khasha declares that Rico is Ardi’s new life coach.
Adam rallies the crew to go to a players party at the Elk lodge. Yeah … the Elk Lodge … and it’s exactly what you’re thinking it is. On the way there Matt picks up Rico and throws him into a bush. Except that he didn’t really let go of him during the throw so it was more like he picked up Rico and then decided to dive into a bush with Rico over his shoulder. As Karma would have it, Rico came out unscathed while Matt had some nice sexy scratches on his face. Adam had extra tickets so we get in for free and after another pain killer and a couple of drinks I’m having fun chatting with all the ballers from distant lands.
Sometime after midnight Adam pulls me aside and tells me that the bag of pain killers in his back pocket had exploded when he sat down. Ardi’s new life coach, Rico, decided to offer his wisdom.
“This pocket can not leave the premises. We must investigate this situation immediately. To the bathroom, at once.”
I skip the trip to the bathroom but a few minutes later I see Rico getting tossed out of the party by a bouncer with blood coming out of his nose. The bouncers pants were falling off. Kelly got a good photo of the fiasco. I grab Adam and go outside but he’s nowhere to be seen.
5 of us head to an afterhours party at a players house but on the way there Matt, Paul, and Kelly decide to follow some random people into an elevator. Adam and I shake our heads and continue to the party. A few minutes later I get a call from Kelly telling me that he’s in an elevator all by himself since Matt and Paul decided to ditch him. Now I have NO IDEA how you can sneak out on someone in an elevator but my next move proved that I was in no position to pass judgment. You see, what I MEANT to do was to tell Kelly that everything is going to be OK. I wanted to tell him that as soon as I get to the party I’ll call him back with directions. What I ACTUALLY did was to simply hang up on him.
The party was small and quaint. I meet a couple of guys from Cali and we BS for about 25 minutes. Paul and Matt show up shortly afterwards with Kelly in tow. He was not pleased about the hang up.
“I call you and tell you I’m lost in a strange town and you hang up on me. Thanks bro.”
I had no rational excuse for that one. But it wasn’t intentional. I get tired and head home. Eventually Paul and the boys get kicked out of the party for god knows what and come home. We wake up a few hours later and head out to breakfast. After one of the best omelets and worst bloody marys I’ve ever had we hit the road and head home.
Since Kelly wanted to take a special shortcut home, Paul is riding back with us. He starts hitting the drinks early and is pretty much trashed the whole way back home. We hit some terrible Tacoma traffic and Matt misses his flight so we drop him off at Bareqs pad since he’s closest to the airport.
I drop Khasha and Paul off, drive home, and sleep for 13 hours.
I played a few more times after Seaside. Eventually my Fall coaching obligations and the weather ended my season. I took over 100 photos at Seaside and posted them online. Everyone loved them. Unfortunately, as the photog, I got no photos of Matt and I.
I got a call from Matt a few weeks later. He had me look up the online home page for Seaside results and right there, as the main cover page, was the only picture of us from that whole trip. Matty, bump setting the ball with both feet off the ground, something I always chew him out for, and me, rushing the attack and running under the ball way too early, something I always chew myself out for. It was somewhat comical and bittersweet.
It’s a warm sunny Saturday in September. I’m crouched on the grass with Max’s Peewee team of 5 year old boys huddled around me. 6 little boys, safe in the huddle, all of them seeing things the same way as I once did. Hair matted down with sweat, cheeks pink from the heat, smiles wide with joy. The Grey Zombies are ready to roll.
“OK boys. This is what we’ve been practicing for. Remember, no matter what, you’re a team. Take care of each other out there. Pick each other up. Let’s go spank these guys.”
I watch them play. I shout instructions. Like the little Studs that they are, they hustle and make me proud.
I remember Matt’s question. “If you’re not having fun, why do you even play?”
Sometimes we forget why we play. We listen to the BS and tune out the soul of the game. But at this moment, watching Max and his friends running around, in the zone and without a care, it all comes back to me.
I play because I love the sea.
because I love the sun.
I love the sand.
my partner.
I’m a warrior. A competitor. I’m a jock through and through. And the warriors blood, sweat, and pain is forever cemented in my soul.
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